Tug of war

I didn't have the energy to post yesterday. I was in major pain but I just have to face it, this is how it's going to be. So enough of that! :-)

I feel like i am having an affair--but not the kind you are thinking!--

I say this because the female population in this company I work for is what you may call a minority. Yes, the testosterone level here is too high. In the beginning, I thought, that's great, less intrigues and gossips. But no--not the case, we STILL end up in cliques no matter what. I've learned to like this environment now than before because everyone gets along very well already. In this company's earlier years, there were too many young (bagong salta) college grads trying to make their millions and it could get rowdy and somewhat of a collegiate-or-university-attitude kind of an environment at times. After the numerous layoffs, I've seen a change in the demography of the company not only in age but also with experience. The female population did not increase unfortunately, we are still a minority but the relationship between us are better and friendlier.

There are three of us girls in our department. We've been pretty close and somewhat kind of exclusive in the eyes of others. I don't think we wanted to project that image but somehow that was just how it ended up since we work on the same schedule and work in the same area. Then here comes a new girl who we thought wouldn't even think of hanging out with us from the light of day. It turned out she was also a Pinay but initially I was turned off only because when asked what her nationality was, she said half Spanish, half Filipino (nauna yung Spanish, at parang kinahihiya yung pagka Filipino ang dating). Anyway, that was the first impression, the real one isn't that bad, she actually turned out to be a down to earth person.

The problem started when we'd go to the gym and the other girl started to act like she doesn't appreciate the extra company. I was upset because it felt like I had to choose between the two of them. It had gotten so bad that there are times I have to meet up with the new girl discreetly so that the other girl doesn't get upset. Now doesn't that feel like I am having a friendship affair?! well, it sure does feel like it to me! I am definitely not liking this situation. I even went to talk to each of them but it's going to take sometime for this to be in my level of comfort.

For now, having to cope with my teeth/jaws/mouth pain, I don't deserve to add 'splitting headache' on my pain list just trying to make things work out. I think I just want to avoid both and will join if all of us will be in one group.

Hah! for those of you who think I was going to write what's in your curious mind--shame on you! :-)

Copyright 2004 Wandertrekker